when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
