You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
