I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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