she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize