i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
