It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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