Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
His nipple licking is glorious
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