how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think your dad took our porno
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Never underestimate the power of titties
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