Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am naked and annoyed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
