thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
