He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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