Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
