how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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