I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
