and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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