What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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