Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
