first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
