You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
