only you would photoshop your dick
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
