oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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