Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize