i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
