i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
