everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
How external is "for external use only"?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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