apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
