an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
