I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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