His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
