So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
