I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
