Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize