i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
