Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
