so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
