When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize