I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
