I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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