DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
