Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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