we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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