we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
