I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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