Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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