You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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