never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
