why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
