He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
