Sry I called you an 8
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
