Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
