I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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