i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
