Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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