two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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