Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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