All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
