Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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