Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Randomize
