It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Porn is love you can see.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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