Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
