You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize