My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
