He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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