We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
