Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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